Comments on: Response

By: Diana

Diana — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 22:34:59 +0000

thank you. i think what you wrote is very brave – it is your story too. i have my own children but have also considered adoption on top of them but wonder if i too could do it and how i would react.
there is so much taboo about adoption even now. would that more people were honest – i sometimes think that even thought we have the vote and can drive cars and achieve top jobs if we don’t conform to society’s view of being a woman this is more threatening than another war. women are still not able to fully speak about their feelings, or have the same emotions as men. maybe adoption should be for life, but overall what is the most important is that the child is loved and accepted and is able to his or her self. adoption should be primarily to give a child a home and love, not to satisfy childless parents need to nurture or to primarily fulfill their needs for a large family, and if bonding with that child despite all best efforts does not work out then being honest is far better than the subtle destruction that can happen to the whole family otherwise.

By: Anita

Anita — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 13:30:31 +0000

No they don’t, and it’s impossible to compare the situation.
Best,
Anita

By: Carly

Carly — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 16:34:35 +0000

In all seriousness- if you’d failed to bond with a bio-child, would they be given away as well?
Do your remaining children worry about you ‘getting rid of’ them if they develop health problems/misbehave/don’t ‘fit in’?

By: Carissa

Carissa — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 15:12:18 +0000

I agree with Norma. I know Anita and know she is a great mother. It must have been hard, but best for D in the long run. We all have events in our lives we do not really wish to share due to fear of ridicule. I am proud of her for sharing her story. I believe it will help others face difficult decisions in their lives and hopefully make the right choice even though it is painful. It was the best choice for D and that is what matters.

By: Norma

Norma — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 19:48:53 +0000

I commend your strength and your bravery in being honest and open about your experience and for making choices that may have been hard but were the best for everyone involved.

By: Anita

Anita — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 12:55:08 +0000

He will have his story to tell, and that will be his. Each one of us has a different story to share. This was my account of a very difficult situation.
Best,
Anita

By: Anita

Anita — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 12:53:42 +0000

We are and were all very sad that this happened, both myself and my children.
Best,
Anita

By: Marcy Webb

Marcy Webb — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 04:23:21 +0000

What troubles me about your adoption story, Anita, is that neither you nor your kids possess a real lack of remorse. You treat your formerly adopted child similar to returning a pair of shoes that you decided were the wrong color. I believe that your White privilege plays a significant role in how you and your family have reacted to and handled this entire situation. Not to mention that you already have five kids of your own. What were you thinking?!

By: Julie

Julie — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 18:41:18 +0000

I have no problem with your admitting you took on more than you can handle. I have a problem with your need to share his personal story with the world. You stole his story Anita.

By: Anita

Anita — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 19:32:35 +0000

Pundit Mom, thank you for leaving a comment to my response. I understand where you are coming from and appreciate your thoughts.

Best,
Anita