Growing up, I played ballerina games in my third floor apartment in Rome. I’d put a table cloth over my head to resemble long hair, and ran around my living room. This greatly angered our downstairs neighbors because I was making too much noise with my graceful jumps from couch to floor, from chair to coffee table.
Second floor complaints were discounted as crabby uptight Romans, and I soon started practicing with tap shoes to spice up my dance routines. I spent lots of my days moving around in our two bedroom home.
My parents also backed me up outside of the house and I tried everything from archery to rollerskating, nothing was off limits for their enthusiastic daughter.
Perhaps it’s the combination of the table cloths and my parents’ encouragement, but I was a very active child and I’ve maintained those habits as an adult. I never feel like exercise is something I HAVE to do, like flossing my teeth at night.
Sure, there were times during my pregnancies when I reached whale proportions and a couple of sporadic weeks where my desire to get to the gym was as high as my desire to get an enema, but those were rare instances.
Naturally, I expected my children to follow in my footsteps and be active. I offered them complete use of our table cloths and encouraged them to try sports, play outside, and even be active inside the house. My plan for athletic domination was almost flawless, until the apple of my eyes, my sweet lovely and tender Livia was born.
This baby refused to move. She managed to be the exact opposite of active, but a degree higher. I don’t think she rolled over until she was 6 months old and that was because I put a bottle by her side.
Food always motivated her like that.
Now that she’s 3 years old, no matter where we are or what we’re doing, you can count on Livia to be planted on the ground more solidly than a stationary bike.
I could say that she will outgrow this inactive phase, or that every child is different and that her weight doesn’t matter right now, or that I want to eat her up because she’s so cute and soft:
But as my Uncle Gianfranco would say that would be like looking at her through salame curtains, or telling myself a lie.
My sunshine is in the obese category. She definitely needs to exercise and cut down on her calories because child obesity is a real problem and because it can cause long lasting health issues.
The goal is simple: get her healthy.
The obstacles are complex: resistance to any type of movement, and her love of all types of food.
Livia loves pasta, chicken nuggets, bread, green beans, broccoli, hamburgers, fish, apples, bananas, cherries, crackers, vegetarian sushi – portions don’t satisfy her and she always wants more. The fridge is an oasis for my little muffin.
On more than one occasion I found her in the pantry, door closed in complete darkness, scarfing down crackers, protein bars, popcorn and even veggie chips. After we told her not to get food without asking or eat in the dark, she got a hold of some pie, turned on the light in the bedroom, hid under her bed and finished it off. When I confronted my child her only words were, “But I wasn’t eating in the dark mommy, I had the light on. ”
Not an illogical argument, but one that won’t help her be healthy. I’m having a hard time getting her on track with more exercise and less food.
Forcing her to run or play actively in the house usually fails.
She’d rather situate herself on the couch and yell for crackers on top of her lungs. My stern voice and commanding attitude has worked on rare occasions. I’ve gotten her to go for a short walk or tricycle ride only after promising that in her game mommy would be a lost doggy and Livia would play Big Girl. What’s better, mommy would indeed wear a leash (around my waist because that’s where I draw the line) and drink water from a bowl on the ground
This is how much I care for my daughter’s health people, drinking water from a bowl on the ground.
I’m not giving up, because I’m just not. I’m going to keep going until she gets off the couch and partially cuts down on her food consumptions.
I just hope that in the mean time we can come up with another game where I can play some type pf human and drink from a cup.
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My cousin who is 9 has this same problem. I worry for her so much and my aunt and uncle don’t help much either because they love to eat as well and always have food everywhere in their house. Everytime I go over there, my cousin opens the fridge every 5-10 minutes. I’ve tried to talk to her about it politely. The sad thing is she knows she is obese and she is content. She is somewhat active. She loves playing in the pool and walking her dog but if you asked her to walk half a mile…you wouldn’t get a no for an answer. Then I have another aunt who never lets her girls eat any kind of sweets. My husband and I have talked about this kind of situation and have come to the conclusion that when we have kids, we’d like to be somewhere inbetween those two extremes. It’s just hard to know how because even with the millions of self-help books…there is no perfect guidebook to being a parent. I hope things get better with your daughter.
Yesenia,
those are really tough situation. I know it’s tough as a parent to set boundaries and we struggle with that too.
Hopefully your cousin can decrease food a little and stay active.
I’m thinking of bribing my daughter with money or gift – though that’s not so readily available in my home
Cheers,
Anita
Is there a way to “sneak” it in without calling it “exercise”? What about dance, swimming, karate or anything that isn’t competitive per se but more about moving the body? (my oldest HATES competition and refuses anything that smells of it). We have friends whose daughter LOVES to eat and it freaked them out— she discovered swimming and loved it and she now swims on a team (at 8).
We also got a wii which I mostly loathe, but I do like some of their active games and more than one child can get involved. Watching my 5yo box is an exercise (for me) in self control so that I don’t laugh but he REALLY gets into it. They have a few other active (playmat-type) games that we hope to get for Christmas.
One year, I bought a small Little Tikes bounce house, set it up on our 3-season porch and blew it up when the kids were going stir-crazy and let them jump (in winter coats and socks!) to their heart’s content. We’ve had a small trampoline (the kind you hold onto a handle) in our TV room too.
I would try to keep food out of this as much as possible. Food is such a loaded thing—and maybe try to keep the same rules for all the kids so she isn’t singled out. Could you make a rule that the kids can get their own fruits or veggies whenever they want to eat a snack? Maybe leave grapes and cut up carrots on the bottom of the refrigerator, bananas and apples on the counter? If she wants a snack, she can anything she wants of those choices, but nothing else that will “spoil” her appetite for dinner.
Best wishes on this—it’s tough, especially when she has older sisters who don’t seem to have this issue, but it may just be that she needs to find something she loves to do that gets her moving.
You’re right – it’s a great idea with the carrots and fruit/veggis in the fridge. I’m going to try that and also having hte same rules, which I haven’t had for all of them.
Thank you so much these are great suggestions!
Cheers,
Anita
What is she doing on the couch that is so interesting? I have no suggestion, of course, if she’s reading a book, but if she’s watching a lot of television it might be worth it to make the couch a little less interesting by shutting the television off or setting stricter rules about it.
What about going to the playground? Would she just sit on one of the benches? An interesting new toy like roller skates/blades/ice skates? Family bicycle rides or hikes or after dinner walks?
What about portioning out the carb-heavy foods for each child but giving them free reign of fruits and veggies? Like a portion (a cup) of pasta with sauce, and that’s it, but if you’re still hungry there are plenty of fruits and veggies to fill you up?
Sorry for your troubles. It’s really easy to look at this from the outside and spout ideas at you, but I can’t imagine being in that situation with a whining, crying, “hungry” kid. Yikes!
Kate
thank you for your comment. Those are all great suggestions and I think you’re right maybe the couch is too interesting. Sometimes she’s reading but many times she has her toys or colors and it’s when I’m busy with the other kids or doing something.
I have to make her moving a priority.
I appreciate your suggestions – I’m going to try one cup of pasta and the fruits and veggies.
Off to your blog
Cheers,
Anita
I know you have been to the doctor, and i know she’s probably “bored” hungry as opposed to “hungry” hungry….. but i wonder what is motivating her to sneak-eat at such a young age? Could there be some hormonal imbalance, or hypoglycemia? You know i’m the last person to want to trigger any thoughts of hypochondria, but the description above sounds like more than just Livia not getting enough exercise to me. I also know doctors are reluctant to test and give diagnoses when they can just tell you to stop giving her bread and get her outside more. It may be as simple as a gluten allergy? Anyway I love her just the way she is of course….
xxxooo
Thank you Sarah!
I got her tested for diabetes but I think I’m going to investigate a bit more – don’t worry I’m a hypochondriac when it comes to my diseases not others, not even my children
hugs,
A
I think you should put her on a water and carrots diet – just kidding
I hope you find a way to get her more active
Liz
No suggestions from me unfortunately. I am in a similar situation with our son who used to be my string bean but has put on quite a few pounds over the last few months. I know he is a growing boy but he has said something twice now and it concerns me. He’s ten and we often find remnants of food he has snuck into his room. We discovered he ate half a loaf of bread the other night before going to sleep and his response was, literally, “I am addicted to food. Once I start eating, I cannot stop.” Did I mention he is only ten!
He is on a soccer team but is not the most coordinated of kids so rarely gets to play. His dad is tall and all of his uncles went through this eating phase – it’s his idea that he is addicted that scares me.
Anyway, just wanted to share in the never-ending parenting dilemmas we face.
Your daughter is beautiful and hopefully some of these great ideas will help out! I know that reading about what you go through helps me not feel so alone out here in whatever we are facing.
Take care!
Kathleen,
thank you for your comment. I hope that your son can also understand his food interest and back down a little or maybe just know when to stop.
thank you for sharing, it makes this battle less lonely or hard to fight
Hugs,
Anita
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