I am not a show-your-boob-while-you-breastfeed type of mom. But I respect anyone’s personal style, full view, partial view or no view at all. The way a mom decides to breastfeed her child is her own business and not mine to judge.
This said, I was extremely surprised when, while discretely breastfeeding my daughter at the mall, a military man, dressed in uniform, told me that what I was doing was appalling and shouldn’t be done in public. Luckily (for him) he spoke quickly and walked away just as fast, but I couldn’t believe a man would go out of his way to tell me something like this when, despite my Italian heritage in which seeing naked breasts and tight buns on the evening news is expected, I choose a more conservative approach to nursing my children.
I have mastered a perfect technique for breastfeeding in public, greatly encouraged by my Ninja husband who wouldn’t take well to a public display of nipples. If I’m in a public place, I sit in an out of the way spot, adjust my cotton blanket over my shoulder and the baby, and then latch her on with nothing visible to the outside world, unless someone has x-ray goggles. How can I be sure? Because of my slightly obsessive-compulsive nature, I have checked over and over in front of a mirror, standing, sitting and walking around: nope, not a hint of a boob.
I think this really shouldn’t matter though. The way a woman nurses her child is her right and no one else’s business. Did the prude who disapproved of me at the mall go over the Victoria’s Secret and tell them to cover up the mannequins? Probably not, so how is that consistent?
Despite the fact that I feel strongly about my “breastfeeding rights” (and just because I used the term, I am not a militant breast Nazi) I didn’t have a good come back for this rude man. I just kept feeding the baby and clutched my blanket even tighter. Practically speaking, I couldn’t have run after this man with the baby attached to my boob, but I wish I had said something.
Truthfully I just felt badly and very uneasy about this little incident.
When I got home I was curious to know the actual laws about breastfeeding, so I looked them up. In nearly every state, breastfeeding is specifically allowed in public – full or no view – so no one should be harassed or asked to leave a public place. There are even organizations that advocate on behalf of women who have been harassed about breastfeeding. Firstright.org and Naab.com are two examples. Their approach is more along the “be proud of those nipples!” type, but they make very good points.
I like to know my rights and will probably never go to the full-view style, but I believe that no one should be a jerk to a breastfeeding mom. Breastfeeding is a woman’s rights and no one should be made to feel uncomfortable about it.
If it bothers you, don’t look.
For the life of me I cannot understand why this is such a big issue for some people. These are the same people that won’t let their children watch a movie with nudity but are ok with letting them watch one that is full of violence.
In Vancouver yesterday a woman who was shopping in clothing store and had to stop to feed her child was told store policy said she could not do it there. There was a huge backlash and now the woman is taking her case to the Human Rights Commission. The store also had to deal with a mob of breast feeding mothers today.
you were absolutely right Anita- this A$$H@l&# ’s problem was all about him and his particular brand of lunacy, and had absolutely nothing to do with you. that said- there’s almost no way to stop yourself from feeling badly when someone goes out of their way to say something hurtful, and I’m sorry that happened to you! This man obviously had issues and frankly I’m glad to hear that he scuttled away like the little coward he was, rather than you having to engage in a breastfeeding debate with him…. he wasn’t worth the breath.
Gah! I don’t know that I would have been able to respond, I would have been so taken aback that he’d even said anything. Which would probably be a good thing, cause I’d probably get mad and yell. And then the blanket would fall off MY shoulder (I did it the same way you do!) and then I’d be showing everything to him anyway.
In fact, maybe he was appalled that you WEREN’T showing anything! :0)
The mere fact that he walked away so quickly demonstrates he was unsure about what he was saying. I wonder if he believed it himself or if he felt it was his duty to purport that others might be uncomfortable. Whatever his ridiculous reason, this man was wrong.
This type of things infuriates me. I’m a breastfeeding mom and have been for all of my children. I’ve been discriminated against, but my opponents were family members. Insane, right? Anyway, good for you for checking out the laws.
I wish folks would wake up and get a clue and start standing up against things that are truly concerning. Seriously, in this day and age, we have more things to be appalled by than a woman breastfeeding her child in public.
Maybe he didn’t want you to see his name and rank! Because if he’d done that to me, and I’d seen it, he would definately have heard from his commanding officer! Just wait, someday he may have kids that need to be fed!
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